things i couldn't say to your face
by charmed4eva112
Summary: "Most of the time, I wanted to castrate her with a machete and feed her little body pieces to a hungry crocodile. Or a shark. Whatever I could get." A letter from jade to beck. jadebeck, mentions of beckcat and becktori


**Summary: **_"Most of the time, I wanted to castrate her with a machete and feed her little body pieces to a hungry crocodile. Or a shark. Whatever I could get." A letter from Jade to Beck. _

**Author's Note: **_Read it. Love it. Review it._

Beck (because I'm not adding the 'dear in front of that),

So, it's been a while since we've last seen each other. Three years to be exact. There's stuff that I haven't been able to tell you, things I was didn't feel like saying to your face. So, here it goes.

Fuck you. Fuck your new girlfriend and your career. Fuck you for leaving me high and dry, and for cheating on me with three different girls.

Hey, I think I'm obligated to finally swear at you, even if it's on paper. And I don't care if you don't like when people swear. I'll gladly swear to your face, in front of all the paparazzi and media, if you'd like.

Yeah, that's what I thought. So don't even go there Beckett.

You know what I realized? That I was a total idiot in high school. I thought I was above it all, and I thought that I was smarter than most of the losers at that school. I thought I was immune to the high school drama, just because you and I made it past the three year mark. I thought I was- we were the exception to high school. But guess what? I was wrong. I was just as stupid as Becky Lesterson in the ninth grade when she performed a blowjob with Peter Seller behind the bleachers, where Ms. Patterson and Mr. Oliver happened to walk in on because they were planning on making out with each other.

Ew, gross. That image will forever be planted in my mind. And it's all your fault.

But yeah, I was an idiot. Forget the eighty five average I happened to have most of the time. Forget the scholarship I got for NYU. Forget that I was nominated to become valedictorian, even though I lost to Andre Harris (remember him? The guy whose life you screwed as well?)

Forget all of that. If I was smart, I would have broken up with you in the tenth grade, when you started cheating on me. With Cat Valentine. Yeah, happy, red head, super bubbly chick who you kept telling that we had broken up? Yeah, I should have seen the signs when you refused to act all couple-y around her for two whole months. I don't even blame her, because you lied to her too.

I should have run when you started become close with Tori Vega. Oh yeah, she's definitely a man stealer. First, she stole Cat's boyfriend, then Lisa Hardwright's boy, and she somehow managed to break up the two lesbians in our school because one of them was hot for you. How does that even happen?

Oh yeah, Tori's apparently the perfect person. She can do no wrong, and when she does, she manages to correct it and gain everybody's trust again. And her voice, oh heaven forbid if she didn't have her voice! Most of the time, I wanted to castrate her with a machete and feed her little body pieces to a hungry crocodile. Or a shark. Whatever I could get. But I bet that they would even spit her out because she wouldn't taste good.

Who cares if she's this famous, Hollywood singer/actress that lives in a billion dollar house and has, like, fifty waiters and swims with whales? She's nothing special, especially since she probably doesn't know a real friend if it hit her in the face. She's all alone, in reality, and she doesn't even realize it. Andre's probably better off than her, even though he is struggling to make a name for himself. Last I heard, he is juggling two jobs at two different clubs while trying to make ends meet. Poor guy.

Oh, and don't forget the fling you had with Tori, me and Wendy Parkinson. At the same time. How could I have been so stupid? It was the beginning of the twelfth grade when it started, right. Just when we were all stressing about the endless amounts of homework while thinking about choices for colleges.

How could I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? I didn't even find out about it until I caught Wendy talking about it on graduation day. GRADUATION DAY! You didn't end it until graduation day with any of us? What the hell?

It's like you weren't even happy with me anymore, but you were too chicken to break up with me.

So thanks Beck, thanks a lot for breaking my heart and shattering it into a million pieces. I'll never, ever forgive you for it.

By the way, I did kill your twelve fish when you were away for the weekend. I just didn't feel like feeding them, and then I accidentally knocked over their bowl. I felt sorry about it at the time, but if you can't even handle one girlfriend, how can you handle a pet? You might cheat on it and not tell the other pets about it. It's like having an affair with a crocodile and a koala. They just don't go together.

Unfortunately, I can't help but think about the good times that we've had. Even though you were an ass, you were always...semi good to me.

Urg, it pains me to write that, but it's true. You were never a horrible boyfriend to my face. Just behind my back. I mean, remember that time we went to that really expensive restaurant and ordered the most expensive items on the menu and then charged it on Sikowitz's credit card that I stole? That was a lot of fun, especially the mind blowing sex afterwards.

Oh, and after that experience, I got pregnant. Oh yeah, and I aborted it. I was just too afraid to tell you. Sorry 'bout that.

You would have made an awesome dad. Well, until I found out about all of your affairs. At least, I hope there were only three girlfriends. But yeah, I actually feel bad about not telling you about my short term pregnancy. I was fifteen and terrified, and I just wasn't ready. And before you complain about how you never knew/never got the chance to decide or talk about it with me or whatever, it wasn't your choice. It was mine; I would have had to gone through it, not you. Besides, we would have broken up eventually, so I would have been alone in it anyways.

Oh yeah, and remember that time in the eleventh grade, after we had that huge fight? Well, I may have accidentally-on-purpose kissed Kyle Newman at that party that he threw. It was just one...quick makeout session, and that's it.

Oh, don't even start, Mr. Affair-with-three-girls. You also cheated on me, for a long time, might I remind you. Oh, and I also stole your dad's credit card. Remember when it went missing for about a month and reappeared magically with it almost drained out? Trina and I may have had a little shopping spree, completed with a recording session and a makeover...for Trina at least. That did her good, at least. I hear that she's still dating that boy, Tyler something-or-other.

I also lied about loving your meatloaf. It's actually disgusting, but I felt obligated to make you feel better. When, in reality, it tasted like something that a skunk threw up after eating it from some garbage. Yeah, nasty.

Oh yeah, I also hate you. Loathe, detest, despise, HaTe.

So, how are you and girl number four hundred and fifty six? Has fame really done you good? I highly doubt it, since your career is probably going to be in the toilets by next year. Yeah, your acting stinks at this point. You should have become a Broadway star, like Cat and I. Instead, you're stuck in Hollywood with Tori, miserable and virtually alone.

Payback's a bitch, aint it buddy?

I'm happy, just to let you know. My boyfriend- oh sorry, fiancé, Evan, and I are so happy together, and he actually treats me right. Hey, I'm not saying that he's perfect (because he totally almost is), but he's a way better man than you'll ever be. He bought me flowers just last night, just because he wanted to! Now, that is a man, don't you think?

I'm not saying that you're the worst possible man on the planet, but you could learn a lot more about how to treat women. I mean, seriously, do we not satisfy you enough? Are you really, actually gay that's in deep denial and compensates by dating lots of women?

Well, it would make sense, especially explaining that little love fest moment with Robbie in the ninth grade. Urg, what he was doing on your lap, I don't even want to know. Still don't.

I do have an honest question though Beck. Did you ever love me? Was our three and a half year relationship real? When did you stop loving me? Why couldn't you have broken my heart like a normal guy instead of shattering it and stomping on its tiny pieces? Please, just answer me that. It's all I want to know.

Oh god, now I'm crying. Curse you Beckett Oliver. I'm gonna make like Cee Lo and FORGET YOU.

Whatevs. If you reply to me, then cool. If you don't, then that's even better. I don't even know why I'm sending this. I guess I need some closure.

Peace out.

From the infamous, twenty two year old Broadway star,

Jade Elizabeth West

PS. I still hate you, and I always will.

**I don't know where that came from. Guess I just was angry at homework and school and life. I do have another Victorious oneshot coming out, as a challenge by Ava, and it is Trina centric. And I may have another Jade centric oneshot coming out. And I might write a sequel to this. Maybe. **


End file.
